Living in the Tension of Seasonal Depression and PTSD

Who else struggles with seasonal depression? 🙋🏼‍♀️ It's a very real challenge, and we all have our unique seasons of struggle. For me, it's the period from October to December, especially in the fall when the days become shorter and the weather turns gloomy. These months are always a season of reflection for me. On one hand, I'm immensely thankful for God's love, His mercy, and His ability to guide us through challenging times. On the other hand, this season brings back a flood of emotions and memories.

This particular period is a significant one for medical mommas like me. You see, I'm no stranger to hospitals. My second son, Kayleb, was born with a congenital heart defect that went undetected for the first two weeks of his life. What followed was a journey filled with worry, surgeries, and long hospital stays. Our family has had more than its share of hospital visits, particularly during the fall months. For most families, a common virus might mean a day off from school. But for us, it often translated to weeks of recovery, and sometimes, lengthy hospitalizations.

As a mom, this rollercoaster of emotions takes a toll. Living in a perpetual fight-or-flight mode can leave you emotionally exhausted. The constant anticipation of the worst, even when hoping for the best, is mentally challenging. And it's even tougher when you're someone who craves control. In those earlier days, I had to face the reality of my own struggles head-on, grappling with what later turned out to be diagnosed as PTSD and trauma. In the beginning, October 18th was always a difficult date, marking the beginning of Kayleb's hospitalizations. Subsequent years brought hospital stays during the fall due to flu and RSV seasons.

Over time, as our medical battles subsided, I pushed these emotions down, tucking them away as part of our history. Seeing old memories and pictures would evoke feelings of immense gratitude. It was a phase of life we'd left behind, a part of our story that I looked at in passing, until this week when Kayleb's health required another hospital stay.

In a recent Women's Bible Study, one of my mentors opened my eyes to a profound concept - living in the tension. She explained that it's possible to experience multiple emotions simultaneously without letting go of one or the other. It's about embracing both the joy and the pain, the gratitude and the struggle. Tension is different than opposition. Tension is being in two places that we need to be at the same time with discernment while opposition is one place in two different areas. If we don’t recognize that that we can live in BOTH places then we underestimate the power of the Gospel. But you see the enemy has a way of attacking where he knows he can do the most damage and for many of us that is our mind. One of the most powerful questions she challenged me with was asking God how do I not give up so easily and not give up on one emotion or the other emotion but how do I live in the tension?

2 Corinthians 4:8 reminds us that we may be afflicted but not crushed, perplexed but not driven to despair, persecuted but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed. We don't lose heart. Our inner selves are renewed day by day.

I'm not sure what tension or season of struggle you're facing, but I want to encourage you to acknowledge that God sees us in both moments of rejoicing and in times of brokenness. His grace and his mercy can exist in the tension of the multitude of emotions you are feeling.

Whether it's seasonal depression, personal trauma, or the simple fact that certain times of the year affect us more deeply than others, it's something many of us can relate to. The fall season, especially from October to December, can bring unique challenges. It's a time of reflection, and at times, it can become an emotional battle. Combined with the gloomy weather in some parts of the world, it's a lot to handle.

I believe in the power of transparency, especially in those tough moments. So today, I want to share some tips that have helped me navigate these challenging times and come out even stronger.

**Remember, these are just some tips that have helped me navigate through difficult times. However, I'm not a licensed counselor, and if you're struggling, I encourage you to seek professional help

1. Get Outside and Soak Up Nature's Beauty. There's something magical about stepping outside, taking a walk, and soaking up some Vitamin D. Witnessing the beauty of nature and God's creations can work wonders for your mood. It's a refreshing, soul-soothing experience. 🌳

2. Pray aka Engage in a Heartfelt Conversation with God. Combined with your outdoor walk, turn it into a prayerful moment. Be honest and direct with God about your feelings and where you are in life. It's a perfect opportunity to have a frank conversation with your Creator. 🙏

3. Listen to a podcast or read something uplifting. Surround Yourself with Positivity Listening to uplifting podcasts or reading something inspirational can work wonders. Positivity can be a catalyst for change, providing the mental switch needed to navigate through challenges. It's been a game-changer in my life over the last eleven years. 🎧

4. Gratitude Journal. Count Your Blessings Writing down 10 things you're most thankful for can shift your perspective. Sometimes, it's as simple as being grateful for the air in your lungs, because, well, it's better than the alternative. 📝

5. Move Your Body, Ignite Your Spirit. Exercise has a way of releasing an adrenaline rush that can feel like a happy pill. Even if it's just some quick movements in your living room, a set of jumping jacks, going for a walk or your favorite workout routine, get your body moving. You're bound to feel better, even if you have to shed a few tears along the way. 🏃‍♀️

6. Call your PERSON. Reach Out to Your Support System Call that one person who always knows what to say and can lift your spirits. If you don't have that person, find someone who motivates, inspires, or you simply trust. Open up to them about your struggles. Sharing your feelings can be incredibly therapeutic. ☎️

7. READ God’s Word. Seek Comfort in God's Word God's Word is a source of truth and unwavering proof. Whenever you're feeling down, dive into His Word and let it be a beacon of light guiding your way. 📖

So, as we embrace the month of November with a heart full of gratitude, what's one thing you do to pull yourself out of a funk? Share it with me in the comments on my IG. We're on this journey together, and your experience might be just the inspiration someone else needs. 🍁💬

Let's practice gratitude this month! Use #NovemberGratitude to share your thankful moments and encourage one another to seek and find the good in life. Together, we can make this November a month of transformation and grateful living. 🙌❤️

**Head on over to the freebie section on my website to download a sample gratitude journal.

**If you're a fellow medical momma, I've designed a medical journal to help ease the stress of organizing all the essential information in one convenient place. You can find it here.